I was running, moving like a jelly fish in a tsunami. I couldn’t tell you where I was headed or where I planned to go. I was swept through the air with no control. The significance of it, feeling the future unfold within every second, made me want to know if I was running to something or from something. I had a life behind, something cherished but easily slipped away. The life ahead of me wasn’t anything to agonize about. I felt it coming, my senses plummeting towards depths unknown told me something was coming. As I ran, I saw a life fading away behind me, like a school of fish to a scuba diver. The fish expanded and fell apart as I was near, but as my presences disappeared, they came together once more, united as one. I let those fish treasure there lives together under the tender sun reflecting such goodness of life that truly existed. I was still running, never to feel ache in my ankles or a sore muscle. I saw faces fly by, of ones I held dear, ones I disappointed, and ones I never got the chance to apologize to. Until I finally looked forward, which I hadn’t done in a long time, I never noticed a gleaming and essential light ahead of me, pulling me in. The light showed me it was time to depart from this world, letting me know a time to venture out of a place, to let it fall behind as life, was near and I had to let my running from death come to a gentle and deliberate halt.
Sometimes, I wish I could find something good about myself. Then I realize I just pity myself. Why pity yourself? It’s stupid. Stop doing it.
Is it possible to have hope for someone who no one else believes in when you don’t even believe in yourself? I’m just wondering, is falling in love with you now optional or do I even have a choice?
It just ended. Well on Sunday but that’s besides the point. My advice is to not go to PCB for spring break unless you are used to it. Because let me tell ya, I was not used to it.